Love or dependency

There's a very fine line between loving someone and just getting used to him/her being around.
That warm, fuzzy feeling you get when in his/her arms, the comforting feeling of having someone to talk to that knows you and up to some extent gets you, that sense of security somehow of knowing "you're not alone" can be easily mistaken for love.
It is love, don't get me wrong, but it's not being in love with that someone.
It's not the sizzling, all consuming feeling that you might have experienced at the beginning. It's not that earth shattering experience that conquers all, that makes you feel almighty and free( in a very non Conan the barbarian way).
And there's proof for what I'm saying.
Dr Helen Fisher, which is a world renowned anthropoligist had done actual brain tests on people.
The results were somehow shocking, cause she actually found people that were together for longer than 20 years(!!!!) that manifested the same "symptoms" in the brain as people that were at the very beginning of their relationshiop(I'll put a link down at the end of thist post)SO IT IS POSSIBLE.
So don't give up on finding your "the one".
Don't settle for less and I'm not gonna say don't settle for less than you deserve cause that's not the case. It's funny how things happenn. How love turns into friendship/companionship. That doesn't mean we're better or worse than those we are together with. It means it's not meant to be or, in a more practical way of speaking, that we don't match. Just like two pieces of a puzzle, our edges don't connect well. And that is wonderful anyways, cause any experience is wonderful(that sounds kinda hippie, but it's true).
And that's never bad anyways cause those moments, they are priceless! They make you who you are, or at least, they teach you something! No lesson is worthless.
Live your life. Find your love. Live your love! And don't give up, never give up, no matter what you do. And that's valid for all aspects of your life.
As a last thought : do you believe in soulmates or not?

https://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_studies_the_brain_in_love/transcript?language=en

I'm no doctor love...

As the title says it, I'm no doctor love.
I'm just a cerebral yet hopeless romantic woman who still believes in love, against all the evidence that points to the contrary.
What I notice, and it's not just a thought formed by my hazy, quite tired mind (accurate description for this moment, anyways) is that though there's an endless web of theoretical possibilities of finding love, the internet and implicitly the social networks playing a humangous part in it, real love rarely happens anymore. Of course you may say : who's she to judge this, what makes you think you know each and every case but, come on, taking into account the immense pool of possibilities, are we actually more prone to find love nowadays than let's say 50 years ago?
What I can agree on is that yeah, there's a better chance of finding hookups, casual dates, f buddies and all that but actual love? Not so sure about that. Does technology actually make us less human, less inclined to be in touch with our emotions and our true self? I'm not blaming it and I'm not saying I don't enjoy the benefits of it (wouldn't have liked to live in the stone age, freezing to death while faith decided if I was the next meal of some predator or he would be mine- theoretically speaking since not many species of predators are actually commestible-rambling activated) but I guess everything good comes with a price. And I think the price we need to pay nowadays is INTIMACY.
And I don't refer necessarily to sexual intimacy, I mean the whole spectrum of things related to intimacy : emotional connection, vulnerability, soul revealing encounters. Things that make us human and noble and free. Again, I'm not saying sex's bad or whatever (not preaching for abstinency in any way possible, it's quite unhealthy as studies have shown) but wouldn't it be so much better if wrapped up in all that bubbly, emotive, spectacular haze of intimacy? Of discovering yourself through your partner's eyes and soul?
Is there an actual remedy to it?
Well, I think there are several.
First one (and the geekiest one) maybe reading a book will help, instead of internet posts. I know that it might sound silly but I for myself feel a lot more "myself" so to speak whenever I read something. It gets me in touch with my mind, my emotions, my inner self.
A second remedy might be to look around us. Smell the roses (just kidding, though it's perfectly alright to do that- I sometimes do that-TMI). What I mean is maybe stop using your phone for some minutes while you're out in the park. And if you're not out in the park, go there, there's plenty of things you can laugh at ( funny mood today). Connecting with nature is I think, one of the most precious sources of harmony and balance and "feel good" sentiments.
Spend time with friends. Not casual, not-being-on-the-same-wavelength friends. Real friends. People that you care about, that you love spending time with. That complete you, that accept you the way you are ( yeah, you guessed well,I'm talking about imaginary friends-kidding). People that bring meaning to your life. That you can talk whatever with. That accept you as you are, Raw and Unfiltered.
And there are others but as I said, I'm no doctor love...

Til next time : Do we actually know what's love anymore?